What to do?

To begin with-- I KNOW I have many blessings in my life, ie: friends, family, health, a home, two kids, an awesome husband,etc. But I'm thinking, what REALLY makes a person happy?

I'm kinda 'stuck' in my present job. It's a so-so job that has many benefits- no, not 401K, health ins, dental plan, etc.. But it offers kinda unlimited paid time off. Now many of you may think, "what could be wrong with a job like that?". Well, I feel horrible everytime I need to ask for time off whatever the reason. No one else in this office can do any of my job even half way correctly. But I can do everybody else's job--now what's up with that? I feel like I have a moral tie to this job. I feel like I'm expected to stay here. Well,another disadvantage is this- if Doc dies tonight, Tina has NO job tomorrow! Now I understand that no job in 'secure' these days, but dang! Not to mention the environment that I sit in, the lack of privacy, the lack of other adult talk during the day, and the lack of 'get up and go' to do my job that I know I once had.

I KNOW in my heart that I missed my true calling. This job was and still is a way to pay bills. PERIOD! The thing is that now I have two children to support, I can't go back to school-which is where I belong! Yeah, granted, I might could get loans etc to pay for tuition, but how would I pay for the bills of running a house? Yes, a part time job is an option--but I'd never make what Jamie and I would need to live on. We don't go all out in our everyday living- our expenses are just that.. Gotta haves! Granted I might could cut out a mere $30-50 bucks a month..but that doesn't hold a candle to the light bill or my goodness, the grocery bill.. You see? So, my thought is and has been for a while, HOW??

I know I was put on the earth to be 3 things: A wife, a mother, and a nurse. Now I've got the first two dreams in the bag, but when and how will the third one come? I feel incomplete as a person to know I have a God given talent that is being wasted! My latest theory was to be a paramedic-- less school time. I would love that too.. Either would be an option. But folks, somethings gotta give. I NEED to be happy as a person inside and out. And that's the ONE thing that could fill the void I have know.

Just had to blow that out..For those of you that really didn't want hear all my issues, refer to my first post--I warned you! ! ! ! ! !